I seriously doubt that I am the only one in the world that has started planning their wedding, only to be completely sticker shocked by how much everything costs. I mean, I knew that going in it was not going to be a cheap endeavor but I did not think that every single thing that we looked into was going to be thousands of dollars more than our budgeted amount. Both our savings accounts will be no more at the end of this. For one night. My friend gave me a perfect analogy for it: it’s like going and buying a brand new VERY EXPENSIVE car, driving it around for six hours, then setting it on fire and never returning. Like. How did the wedding industry become this? How is it not even remotely possible to have a wedding for 10K in 2019? I know people who have taken out personal loans for this nonsense. It’s nuts. And don’t get me wrong, I am very excited for the day and happy with the vendors that we chose, but I’m also kind of wishing we could rewind and elope. It would have saved us an inordinate amount of money.
But. Yes, there’s a but. Would that have been what we wanted? I know for sure it wasn’t what Nick wanted – he was super excited about the idea of a big catholic wedding, something you can’t do on a remote beach. And me, well honestly, I don’t know. I have always been one of those girls who dreamed of her wedding and all the fanciness that comes with that. I think I would’ve been relieved to save the money eloping in the moment, but ten years from now, I may have looked back and wished that we had had a bigger celebration. We did talk about it, seriously considered it. But in the end, we would have been sad that all of our close friends and family wouldn’t have been there with us.
Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed by the insane amount of money I’m coughing up – like today when I got the quote for the shuttle for our guests – I just remember these few things:
1. We are only doing this once. As (most) people do. It’s not like you are going to ever spend this amount of money on one day again.
2. We would have missed our friends. Honestly, I would’ve been really sad to not have my closest friends there if we had eloped. They’ve been by my side for so long and supported us and cheered for us when times were rough, it would be really sad to not have them there to celebrate with us.
3. It would have killed my mom. If we truly eloped, my mom would have never forgiven me. When we were seriously discussing it, we had our immediate families in talks to be the only guests for this reason.
4. It will be such a great memory. I know that it will be so much fun on that day. We will have such an amazing time and won’t regret having the time of our lives.
5. We’ll have amazing pictures. Everyone says; “splurge on your photographer” and I can see why. The only things that you are going to take away from the day – besides a spouse – are the photos. We definitely didn’t go as expensive as we could have, but we made sure the photographer took photos that we absolutely loved.
6. You’ll probably make some of the money back. What do you take to weddings for the bride and groom? Usually a card with a gift of money in it. I’m sure that your guests will do the same. So while you probably won’t make back the entire cost of your wedding, you’ll at least have something to replenish that sad empty savings account afterwards.
So whenever you are feeling like you’re making a huge financial mistake by having a big fun wedding, just remember those six things. I go back to that list probably on a weekly basis to calm myself down. I hope that thinking about them will help you relax a little and come to terms with it. I’m still working on it myself so don’t worry if you’re still struggling. I’m right there with you. What do you think? Does anyone else have any advice on dealing with wedding sticker shock? If you do please help a girl out and let me know in the comments below!