At first, wedding planning was fun. Super fun. Nick and I had a great time touring venues and browsing through photographer’s instagrams and choosing our favorite. We were giddy when we met with our officiant for the first time and ecstatic after the catering tasting. I did not understand how some people got so stressed out with wedding planning – other than the cost of everything – the planning part was really fun! It’s so interesting to me because I’ve watched completely put together people turn into raging mushballs over their wedding details and I myself do not take pride in being all that put together. Yet, there I was, completely fine – save for the money aspect.
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Well. Now that we are only a few months out, I see it. I’m starting to fall apart more than I was already about the money. In the last month or so, we’ve experienced all the stereotypical wedding stressors that you can possibly imagine and then some. I missed posting a blog post last week completely due to wedding planning drama I was dealing with. And don’t get me wrong, I am normally a very anxious person and stress over all the things, but this has been different. It’s not problems that I’m manufacturing out of anxiety – although, those are there too – it’s legitimate problems beyond our control. For example, our venue has parking – normally. When we booked it, that was something we considered and made sure was a thing. Well, now the city our venue is in is doing hella construction and we no longer have parking. The solution? Hopefully finding a valet service that will not charge us up the wall – see wedding money stress and me – and praying. Things like that that popped up without warning that we have no control over or had no foresight to do anything about.
So what am I doing about it you ask? Something that I am so terrible at doing and almost have to be forced to do on a normal day. Asking for help. My mom is a rockstar when it comes to planning things. She’s so good at coming up with the right questions to ask and negotiating the fairest possible contract that she can. All my life, I’ve envied that gift of hers. I literally need to take a list of questions to ask when I talk to vendors, otherwise, I forget. And granted, I have never done this before, I’ve never been in a wedding party before – I’m the first of a lot of my friend groups to get married and I’m the oldest kid in my family – so I quite literally have no idea what I’m doing. Same with Nick. He’s also the first out of his friends to get married, so he also has no experience to offer here. It didn’t dawn on me until I was ranting to my mom about the parking that we could reach out to another business and ask to buy their lot for the evening – her immediate response. I had no idea where to even begin to sort it out until my mom took the reins. And that’s okay. It’s okay to not know what to do and it’s okay to ask for help. I’m a perfectionist through and through so I was trying to plan this perfect wedding all by myself – with Nick of course – without asking anyone for help and I crumbled. So if you’re stressing about your wedding, good grief, ask for help. You don’t have to solve every hurdle thrown your way alone, odds are, you have someone in your life who’s way more experienced in event planning that can help you. And then you can get back to having fun with it.
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